How to Lose Weight with Beer, Pizza and Ice Cream.

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie
to heat 1 gram of water 1
degree centigrade. Translated
into meaningful terms, this
means that if you eat a very cold
dessert (generally consisting of
water in large part), the natural
processes which raise the
consumed dessert to body
temperature during the digestive
cycle literally sucks the calories
out of the only available source,
your body fat.
For example, a dessert served
and eaten at near 0 degrees C
(32.2 deg. F) will in a short time
be raised to the normal body
temperature of 37 degrees C
(98.6 deg. F). For each gram of
dessert eaten, that process takes
approximately 37 calories as
stated above. The average
dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168
grams. Therefore, by operation
of thermodynamic law, 6,216
calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg.
x 168 gms) are extracted from
body fat as the dessert's
temperature is normalized.
Allowing for the 1,200 latent
calories in the dessert, the net
calorie loss is approximately
5,000 calories.
Obviously, the more cold dessert
you eat,the better off you are
and the faster you will lose
weight, if that is your goal. This
process works equally well when
drinking very cold beer in
frosted glasses. Each ounce of
beer contains 16 latent calories,
but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216
cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the
temperature normalizing
process. Thus the net calorie loss
per ounce of beer is 1,020
calories. It doesn't take a rocket
scientist to calculate that 12,240
calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.)
are extracted from the body in
the process of drinking a can of
beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream,
are even more beneficial, since it
takes 83 cal./gm to melt them
(i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and
an additional 37 cal./gm to
further raise them to body
temperature. The results here
are really remarkable, and it
beats running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat
pizza as an excuse to drink beer,
pizza (loaded with latent calories
and served above body
temperature) induces an
opposite effect. But, thankfully,
as the astute reader should have
already reasoned, the obvious
solution is to drink a lot of beer
with pizza and follow up
immediately with large bowls of
ice cream.We could all be thin if
we were to adhere religiously to
a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.