The Englishman, The Scotsman and The Egg.

A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next
door to each other.
The Scotsman owned a hen and each
morning he would look in his garden and
pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw
that the hen had laid an egg in the
Englishman's garden. He was about to go
next door when he saw the Englishman pick
up the egg.
The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman
and told him that the egg belonged to him
because he owned the hen.
The Englishman disagreed because the egg
was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the
Scotsman said, "In my family we normally
solve disputes by the following actions: I
kick you in the testicles and time how long it
takes for you to get back up. Then you kick
me in the testicles and time how long it
takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up
quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the
Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots
he could find. He took a few steps back,
then ran toward the Englishman and kicked
him as hard as he could in the testicles.
The Englishman fell to the floor clutching
his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and
said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep
the damn egg!!"